johnrobe

A week or so ago, a coworker held a dark chocolate tasting fun event here at work. She bought 11 different kinds of dark chocolate, and we all tasted them and rated them. Lots of fun. And lots of chocolate left over. Lots.

And that has been both a good thing and a bad thing for me. It’s a good thing, because she still has all these different tiny tasting-sized chunks of chocolate available at her desk in nice little ziplock bags. It’s a bad thing because I’m now at the point where if I don’t go over and get some chocolate by 2:30 or so, I get a splitting headache. When the chocolate train leaves town, I don’t know what I’m going to do.

Today, I went over and grabbed a few pieces, including a few that were little more than chocolate dust (that particular sample was nearing the end of the bag), and for some reason, I figured that the laws of chocolate thermodynamics didn’t apply to me, so I just carried the chocolate back to my desk in my hand.

By the time I got to my desk, my hand was covered in melted chocolate. I put the chocolate onto a napkin, and after smearing the chocolate in my hand around a little bit I decided that the napkin just wasn’t going to cut it and I went to the washroom to wash my hands.

When I got there, the cleaning guy was in there filling up the paper towel dispenser and doing his usual grouchy and half-hearted wipe of the sink countertop, so I stood there patiently waiting for him to finish. This guy is the most surly cleaning person I’ve ever seen, and that’s saying something. I like to keep out of his way.

While waiting, a coworker came in with a mug he wanted to clean, and joined me waiting our turn at the sink. After the cleaning guy finished his duties, he looked at both of us, sighed, rolled his eyes, and left. I’m sure part of it is the thought that we’re about to mess up the counter he just cleaned and then use some of the paper towels he just refilled, but no, that’s not all… some of it is just pure crankiness.

Anyway, that’s not the point of the story. As I walked up to the sink, I started casually chatting with my coworker, and as I reached out to turn on the water and start washing my hands, I notice that he was staring at my left hand with a look of what can only be described as outright horror and revulsion. You must now at this point remember why I was in the washroom. You must also remember that I was in there before he came in. You must now do the mental 2+2=4 that he did.

And now I think you understand why I immediately started babbling along the lines of, “Oh! No no no no no no. It’s chocolate! It’s not what you’re thinking. It’s chocolate! From the chocolate tasting event. You know, leftovers!”

My coworker nervously laughed and said, “Oh yeah. That… uh… makes sense I guess,” and then walked out. I’m really not sure that he was convinced that was wasn’t covered in something entirely different. All I can tell myself to make me feel better is, at least I was washing my hands.

It's strange where the Internet will take you.

This morning, while discussing the disadvantages of working in EDT when most of your coworkers work in PDT with Mike, I found myself quoting a Strong Bad Email — SBemail number 79, “Sibbie”, to be exact. To explain to Mike, who was probably rather confused but remained politely silent about it, what my “never ever ever ever ever write a song about Sibbie” statement was about, I went to the Homestar Wiki to find a link to Sibbie. While there, I saw the incredibly detailed writeup of the SBemail and started reading it. At the end of the cartoon, Strong Bad performs several wrestling moves on “that talking toaster” and the Homestar Wiki article described them all (Piledriver, kick, then a Vertical Suplex, for the record).

On a whim, I clicked on the link for Suplex, and ended up on the main Wikipedia page for the Suplex, and man! Check out the size of that thing … it’s over 5000 words! That would be a 20 page essay in some sort of really strange wrestling-based high school. It describes 49 variants of the suplex, not only with a description of the move, but generally also with the origin of the move.

The Internet is a weird and wonderful place my friends.

I'm a fan of Colm Feore, and on the train today, I noticed an article about an upcoming movie of his, entitled "Bon Cop, Bad Cop".

It’s a classic cop / buddy movie along the lines of Lethal Weapon, apparently, only the catch is, one cop is an anglo from Toronto, the other is a francophone from Montreal. The body was found with one half of the body in Quebec, and one half of the body in Ontario, reminiscent of the classic brain teaser — if a plane crashes right on the border of Ontario and Quebec, where do you bury the survivors?

Answer: You don’t! You make a bilingual cop movie out of it!

The movie looks like it has potential, though it’s a pretty weird contrivance… I mean … wouldn’t it be more likely that you’d have a cop from Ottawa and a cop from Hull for example? I’m sure it’s all explained in the movie for sticklers like me.

The best part was this line from the publicity though… “It’s the first completely bilingual police comedy made in Canada”.

Really? I find that hard to believe! The best part was adding “in Canada” on the end. Have they made many in Belgium?

Coming to theatres August 11th!

I don't like seafood. I don't like tomato juice. As a result, Mott's Clamato, and by extension the Bloody Caesar, is repulsive to me. As a Canadian, this is somewhat unpatriotic, but what can a guy do in my situation other than say he doesn’t like Caesars and hang his head in shame.

When you think about it though, isn’t Clamato sort of repugnant? I mean, tomato juice and clam juice? Tomato juice I can understand. I like tomatoes in most recipes, and I love tomato sauce, I just find raw tomatoes a bit much, and tomato juice tastes like raw tomatoes.

Clam juice though. Even people who LIKE clams probably shudder just a little bit thinking about this. I mean, what IS clam juice? How do you get it? Do you squish’em up? Milk them? Open them up and just stick them in a strainer and catch what comes out? Who really wants to drink something based on a clam?

Apparently, Clamato is not a Canadian thing. It’s American. That surprised me given that most Americans have never heard of the Bloody Caesar, a very Canadian drink — perhaps the quintessential Canadian drink. Did you know that the Caesar pre-dates Clamato though? The original recipe for the Caesar (which IS a Canadian unlike it’s principle ingredient), was created to celebrate the opening of a new restaurant at the Westin’s in Calgary, and instead of Clamato, it called for tomato juice and mashed up clams. Gah.

Interesting Clamato trivia I learned from Wikipedia, and my reaction to it:

• The word Clamato is a portmanteau of “clam” and “tomato”. Now, everyone knows that Clamato is a mixup of tomato and clam…. but did you know it was a portmanteau? Did you know what a portmanteau was? Perhaps if you’re smart and/or a vocabulary nazi. I didn’t.
• Clamato is a popular mixer for mass-market American and Canadian beer. Uh… sure. “Popular” you say?
• Mott’s has taken steps to protect its trademark, running print, radio and television advertisements which attempt to distinguish Mott’s Clamato from generic tomato-clam beverages. This I understand… who wants to be associated with generic tomato-clam beverages? *shudder*
• Most Anglo-Americans consider Clamato to be an acquired taste. Have you ever heard something described to you as “an acquired taste” that you didn’t think tasted like utter crap? Me either.
• According to the Mott’s company, its greatest popularity is among Hispanics, toward whom, after a disastrous misstep in the 1990s, most of the product’s American advertising is now devoted. A disastrous misstep? Related to the marketing of Clamato? I want to know that story. Sadly, I can’t find it.
• Clamato is one of the standard in-flight beverages on Mexicana airlines. Interestingly enough, I flew Mexicana to Acapulco and noticed this, but I just assumed it was for all the Canadians making Caesars.
• Clamato inherits from its clam broth component a folk reputation as an aphrodisiac. I will not — repeat not — make a joke based on this. I will let your own dirty mind do it instead. Pervert.

So that’s all very well and good. Whatever my opinion of the drink … people like it. Crazy people. If that means most of Canada is crazy, well, that doesn’t surprise me. But did you know that Mott’s makes a drink even MORE repulsive (to my mind anyway) than Clamato? Beefamato!! Tomato juice and BEEF juice!!

Oh sure, you probably are saying, “John, isn’t spaghetti sauce basically tomato sauce and beef juice?” Actually, I’m willing to wager you’re saying, “Actually, yes John, that’s gross”, but I am willing to bet that someone out there is making the spaghetti sauce argument… and to that, Wisenheimer, all I can say is, I want to see YOU drink it.

Tonight while at the Kingston Road Animal Hospital for unhappy reasons, we witnessed something on the other end of the spectrum.

As we walked in the door, we were greeted with a happy little fella who, though not pictured at right, looked just like the pooch pictured on the right. We found out he was a cross between a chihuahua and a Jack Russell terrier, and he was a happy, rambunctious guy. The people there with him obviously liked him, but they didn’t seem to know how to control him or even what to call him. It turns out, he was a lost dog, and they had found him near their house, and brought him into the hospital, hoping they could identify him.

As it turns out, the pooch was microchipped, and the vet was able to find it and read it. One phone call later, which we observed while in the waiting room, and they knew the details. The dog’s name was James Dean, and his owner lived nearby. One phone call later with the relieved owners, and they were on their way down. The people who found Jimmy had to leave, but they left him in the care of the vet.

We were still there when the owners showed up, nervous and biting their fingernails. Seeing the look on their face, and seeing Jimmy Dean’s little tail wag at the speed of sound when they were reuinited … well, that was enough to make me a believer in microchipping pets. It was also the most pure, happy thing I had seen today, perhaps in a very long while.

Wayne, who apparently is slowly working his way through my blog, responded to my post about where Ronaldhino's name came from with this link to an awesome site for generating your own Brasilian soccer name.

My name is Robertsisco, in case you were wondering.

What really caught my eye though, as happens more and more frequently these days, were the Google ads on the right, in particular this one:

Jesus and the World Cup

Find lasting peace in Jesus No matter who wins the World Cup

Without making any statements regarding anyone’s faith … I do have to admire the optimistic lateral marketing going on here. What are people thinking about a lot these days? The World Cup! What should people be thinking about? Jesus!

Jesus + World Cup = www.jesusandtheworldcup.com — Literally!!

In particular, I liked this little diagram:

“This diagram illustrates that God is holy and man is sinful. A great gulf separates the two. The arrows illustrate that a man is continually trying to reach God and the abundant life through his own efforts, such as a good life, philosophy, or religion - but he inevitably fails.”

As you can see, that one little diagram is conveying a LOT of information. Edward Tufte would be proud.

One thing that was interesting … when I examined that image closely, I discovered that it had been laid out rather interestingly. Rather than an image, it was done as a table with a background image and the text laid over top. Nothing wrong with that, in fact, it’s good, accessible page design. It made me wonder why they did it though, since the page isn’t exactly high tech, generally speaking. It’s almost like they wanted to design it for reuse.

So I did a search on some of the text from the page and found:

www.godlovessoldiers.com
www.davinciandjesus.com
www.reversingthecurse.org
www.timhowardstory.com
www.talesofnarnia.com

All of those pages are either the same content as the Jesus and the World Cup page, or they have a link from the home page to their equivalent of the Jesus and the World Cup page. I haven’t included lots and lots and lots that are straightforward sites about Jesus and God, which certainly do not deserve any sarcastic comments. I’ve only included ones that are as out of left field as the World Cup tie-in, like the page explaining how the Boston Red Sox beat their curse using faith.

I just love the reuse they’re getting out of this. If you’re going to blanket the internet with this sort of thing, you might as well be efficient about it! I did notice that for some reason the Narnia site (!) and the Tim Howard site uses a chair metaphor instead of a circle metaphor that the soccer site and the Da Vinci site use.

They are getting SERIOUS reuse though. If you search on the content from one of these sites, you get ten pages of Google results. All virtually identical except for the layout of the pages and the short intro copy that does the tie in between Jesus and the World Cup, or Jesus and the Red Sox, or Jesus and soliders, etc.

My big question … how the heck is there no Harry Potter tie-in site? Or Magic the Gathering? Or some of the more old school sins … like rock and roll, or porn? Clearly, research into these topics is called for.