johnrobe

Timmi has a weak stomach. Actually, her stomach isn't too bad, but it's the brain/stomach connection that isn't very solid. When she sees, smells or even hears things that are gross to her, she can lose it, and lose it in a hurry.

This is not a good thing when we go places like Chinatown in the summer, where her super-keen sense of smell interacts with her hairtrigger gag reflex in terrible ways. She loves Chinatown too, particularly the Vietnamese restaurants there, so she’s always taking a walk on the wild side when she goes there.

Over the years, I’ve seen Timmi throw up, or almost throw up, due to bad smells galore, bad tastes, bad memories, gross sounds (like the sound of someone hocking up a loogie)… but until today, I’ve never seen a picture on the Internet make her sick. Until today.

Introducing, the Jimmy Dean Chocolate Chip Pancakes & Sausage on a Stick.

Now… allow me to digress a little.

Last October, my best friend got married, and I was the best man. As part of the stag party I picked up a movie called “Barely Legal Lesbian Teenage Vampires” purely for the title alone. I mean, come on… every word in the title makes the word NEXT to it better.

And then there’s Jimmy Dean Chocolate Chip Pancakes & Sausage on a Stick, where every word makes the word next to it more terrifying.

I saw this product on BoingBoing, and showed it to Timmi, who looked at it… gasped… looked some more… choked… and managed to squinch out the words, “Is that real?” before she ran off gagging. Coming back later, she commented that the chocolate chips floating on the green background made it seem like they might somehow be mint chocolate chips, which set the whole gag cycle off again.

If this product is real … and lord I hope it isn’t… I hope it’s never offered anywhere except the strange and mystical land where people actually like this sort of thing. I assume it’s the deep south or something. I don’t think Timmi wants to visit.