Affection You Just Don’t Want
This morning, Timmi and I got into an argument that started fun, but then turned ugly in more ways than one.
We were listening to music on my iTunes, and “Why Can’t This Be Love” by Van Halen came up. We listened for a bit, and after a while I said, “You do know what this song always makes me think of, right?”
Timmi immediately replied, “Crystal Gravy!”
I agreed heartily, because it was exactly the same for me. “The weird thing,” I said, “Is that this isn’t even the song in the ad.” (Isn’t it unusual that SNL fake ads are just “ads” to us now?)
Timmi said, “No way, this is the song.”
I said, “No, it’s ‘Right Here, Right Now’. Same album, different song.”
Timmi was dead set that I was wrong, so she went on a Googling warpath and found evidence which ultimately exonerated me:
Timmi’s a gracious loser, and agreed I was right, and we kept watching the video. Personally, I’ve always thought this ad was brilliant - it will be remembered much longer than the Crystal Pepsi ad it is poking fun at in my mind.
As we watched though, Timmi started looking green. Then she started retching a bit. Ninja, who had been snuggled up in her arms, got alarmed and took off. Timmi kept retching and getting closer to a full blown puke, and I was just puzzled.
She has a well-documented weak stomach, but I couldn’t see what the big deal was. Eventually, I got her to stop the video and tell me.
“You’re kidding right? You’re seriously telling me that whole commercial doesn’t remind you of snot?” she said and then retched some more.
“Uh, no, not at all, I just think it’s funny.”
“What? It’s totally about snot!”
“No it’s not,” I said, totally not intending to be punny, “Snot isn’t clear.”
“Affection snot is clear!”
“Uh … ew, what the hell is affection snot?”
“I didn’t say affection snot, I said IN-fection snot!”
“No you didn’t, you said affection snot, and I don’t know what that is, but I don’t want any missy!”